STUART SAYS...

Stuart on Josh...

Somewhere hidden way beneath the depths of the darkest most sinister place, lies a creature of immensely distorted proportions, it's mind warped beyond reason, it's purpose ferociously hell-bent on disturbing the peace and creating chaos. It's intent to quietly enter your mind and play with the contents. And somewhere else sitting in front of a TV and eating a donut is Josh! The two have never met and yet appear to be one and the same! I shall now take you to him ----- be afraid... be very afraid.

Jeckyl and Hyde: Just as there are two sides to a coin there are two sides to a Josh. You will never be able to predict which side you are about to see, your only assurance is that you know his alter-ego is lurking somewhere nearby. You see the whole environment 'a Josh' surrounds himself with is a complex one. It is a world of chaos and disorder, confusion and contradiction, the pretend and the reality! When approaching 'a Josh' you must have your wits about you, for often he will posses the form of an interesting and energetic individual. He'll make you laugh and bounce around with an almost child-like exuberance and it is easy to get on with him because he makes you feel so comfortable. BEWARE - for it is often at this point that 'a Josh' will change form - you have let your guard down and have potentially invited a creature, so hideously disgusting and warped into your head, that my advice is to weep and beg for mercy!

Punk is not dead: I believe Josh was born a decade too late. For beneath his calm outlook lies the heart of a punk. Upfront Josh is an upstanding guy, he's intelligent and funny and is completely individual, but along with this normality lies Josh's punk mentality. He loves to be different, and whether it's him wrecking the place for a laugh or more seriously taking on the establishment that deserted him, you can always count on his getting away with it! Right on brother!

Where I lay my hat is my home: If there's one thing Josh and I can always find time to do together, it's the exploration of our new surroundings and if there's one thing that we are sure of, it's that we'll always get lost everytime! One of the greatest expeditions Josh and I ever had was in France, whilst playing a week of gigs in the lovely town of Nice. We set off very early one morning in search of Monaco and as Josh was the vastly more experienced traveller, I relied on his directions that day. What a fool I was, for it was only when I eventually got home that evening that I realised Josh had been lost all day and unwittingly taken me on foot from Monaco - through Monte Carlo and on to the next neighbouring town! Up and down various big hills and beaches and back again, without a clue of where he was ( he will deny this!) All that remains to be said is ----- ' nothing's changed! '

Josh the musician: Being the player of the only chordal instrument in the band is a tough task and I must say that I admire Josh for his ability to play the guitar, whilst singing and jumping around like a crazed psychofreak. Infact, I love his rhythm guitar playing, it's his solo work that needs work --- It sucks! But seriously alot of the reason why we sound as we do is down to Josh's individual style on guitar and his fresh approach to all things creative ( just listen to the lyrics!) Josh you rock, don't listen to Steve -- the b-minor is a useless chord anyway!

A man of many moods: Josh is an energetic character and yet ( I know this won't make sense but it's true!) is also very lazy. He is very opinionated, and is never afraid to speak his mind (something that is often a good thing) He's downright moody but always happy, he's serious to the core but always funny! You see there is no way to label Josh, apart from that you always know the Josh you meet today will be completely different from the one you meet tomorrow ( and that's part of the adventure ) So there he is -- Josh, my homie! A subtle, quiet, sweet smelling, conformist who's happy to do what he's told! ----------- Yeah right! Josh the fifth Jukka brother!


Stuart on Steve...

Steve A Retrospective: I have known Steve longer than he has known me, and when you spend so much time with him as I do, it is easy to discover what makes him tick.......( Sorry steve but I have actually listened to every word you've said these last three years, even if I pretended not to.)

Steve on first impression: Steve is a punctual, organised, opinionated tip-ex junkie with a ferocious attitude and secret cook book obsession. He is always friendly and sociable and ----- oh who cares lets get nasty!!

F-F-F-F-F-Fashion! If Steve had a second vocation in life, it's fashion. He knows what he wants and how to wear it, he's so confident in his own fashion sense that no amount of ' what the hell is that? ' will change his mind (see early photo sessions regarding the sheep jumper!) If you look in Steve's wardrobe you will find a plethora of womens clothing, I think it's because he prefers the fit ---- EEERRR! So I warn you girls, the next time you see him starring at you in a quizical fashion at gigs --- he's probabrly trying to work out where you got yer top!

Mirrors and Muscles: Most poeple have a place they can go, be it phsical or mental, that allows them to think clearly or put their worries aside. In Steves case he finds the mirror a place of stability and comfort, for it is in this refuge that Steve can find his focus and concentration, in front of a mirror is where he will start his day, end his day and often find time for a quick visit throughout the day! As Steve will tell you a mirror is not just to look at, it also doubles as an interactive toning all over workout station ------ that is you can look at your muscles in it! You see, Steve is very proud of his muscles (hence the many vest tops!) and is always checking the various angles of his body for a new viewpoint on them, but Steve i'm here to tell you --- stroking them won't make them any bigger.

A man cannot live by catfood alone: In the two years we spent trying to get a deal, we had to work demeaning jobs with which to survive. Often things were tight, and always admired Steve for his commitment to the band by working five days a week in order to travel down the other two for rehersal. He deserves his new London home if nothing else! However no matter how tight things got I could never become as desperate as Steve, who has been known to eat catfood for money to the delight of his brummie friends. Yes it may have been demeaning and those who paid money for this specticle may have taken advantage of him, but well I believe it played a part in getting him where he is today ---- Well done Steve!, just dont ever breathe on me o.k.

A man of many moons: Steve feels cheated, his hair is so blatently out for recognition that he believes his body never gets the attention it deserves. His reaction against this is the constant 'mooning' of me and my housemate, an act of indecency that I find unacceptable. However, I find some comfort in the knowledge that as a kid I was never dum enough to moon a grandma right infront of my own father or even photocopy my own ass and then accidently leave the evidence in the spare paper tray on an office desk. ------ The cheeky little so and so!

Bass, how low can you go? I feel I have been a bit harsh on Steve today so i'll be nice now. I think Steve is a great bass player, and am glad that we heve shared such a similar musical understanding right from the start, I am often qouted as saying that we only asked him to join the band co's he was the only one with a van ------- this is not true ------- he also had access to a p.a system. But in all seriousness he really is the best spikey haired bass player called Steve from Walsall Birmingham I think I've ever met! So there he is ---- Steve Clarke, my brother. A confident, likeable, organised muscleman. At the end of the day! he's reliable and down to earth but in the next breath! he's an Italian stallion from Birmingham. Do yer know what I mean - kind of thing!!??