STEVE SAYS...

Steve on Josh...

We were united by our love for the Seattle music scene...When I (a long haired bass player in a funk/pop band!) first met Josh (a slightly on-edge looking lead singer in a thrash metal outfit, sporting a less than well groomed mohican!), we quickly discovered that we had very similar ideals and disillusions about things. It was no surprise that we became good friends, but to think that, seven years later, we would be partners in crime...I don't think either of us would have expected!

So..introducing JOSH DOYLE (Now aged 23) Before I launch my attack (oh sorry...is that not what this is meant to be ?!) I must state that: Josh is a very honest and upright citizen. However! Underneath all of this, the boy from next door has a devious side and a taste for mischief! 1) What can I get for nothing - The Master of blagging has arrived! Absolutely anything! He uses very little tact and cuts straight to the point. If you are after 'something for nothing' Josh is the man to speak to. I have caught him on many occasions trying to sneak through the barriers at tube stations (even if he's already got a ticket?! makes perfect sense!) High Jinx! We have found ways to amuse ourselves when we are on tour or staying in hotels. Gathering stage decor and 'confuse the doorman' are but 2 of the many Dum Dums activities that take place. You can guarantee that Josh will be at the centre of all this. His shameless (and sometimes downright embarrassing!) efforts are hugely entertaining and really help to alleviate the boredom!

Josh is into 'pay-back' This means that he is endlessly scheming on how to get back at ex-bosses and people that have done him over in the past. I think that most of it is talk, but there is always that slight niggling that he might carry out one of these revenge-operations one day.... Time keeping When arranging an appointment with Josh, you first need to understand that he operates on a different time scale to the rest of the world. Whether this has anything to do with his American background, I am not sure. Always arrange to meet him at least half an hour before you are planning on getting there. With any luck ...you'll only have to wait another hour or so when you arrive!! and...Watch out for the excuses! Classics include: Train line failure (on 40 different occasions??!!) Getting Lost (Something he has mastered down to a fine art!) and Alien Abduction (This would explain a lot and is probably the easiest for me to believe!!) Exhibitionist extraordinaire! When three exhibitionists spend a lot of time together, they will inevitably go to ridiculous lengths to get a reaction! Josh always seems to have it in him to go just 'one step' further than the rest. He recently demonstrated this in the studio by inviting me to smell this 'new honey drink', which turned out to be a mug of his own pee. It takes a lot to render me speechless, but I have no more comments to make about this particular exhibition. The smell continues to haunt me...

Creativity vs Stupidity (and the thin line that divides the two) Josh is extremely creative. He seems to be able to magic up fantastic melodies from out of nowhere and has a way of saying things the way they are. He is a very unorthodox guitarist (huge understatement!) but he's definitely got his own little style and ,most importantly of all, he knows how to rock out! (I have promised to teach him B minor next week!) Being creative, he does inevitably come up with some 'off the wall', 'silly crazy' and quite honestly 'stupid' ideas once in a while! Shortly after we had started out, he had this idea that we should scrap our complete repertoire and start writing from scratch. I managed to calm him down and convince him that this was a pretty dumb idea. .... two years later, we are only playing ONE of those songs still!! So, I guess in a way he was right and could have saved us a lot of blood, sweat and rehersals!

To conclude... The points I have elaborated on are mere examples of what lurks behind the cool, calm exterior of Josh Doyle...A decent human-being who feels the need to reek havoc within the calm environment that surrounds him.

Steve on Stuart...

It's a cold Easter night in 1997 and I've just spent six hours on a coach to Kent, only to get picked up by Josh and driven halfway back to London! Our destination: Horley, Surrey... where the Dum Dums would be 'As one' for the first time. This is where I first came in contact with Stu (and I've not let him out of my sight since!) a seemingly quiet and polite young man with a particularly awful hairdo. (Pretty curtains..very un-rock n'roll!) Looking back serves only to re-enforce my belief that 'some things are never quite what they seem'... An insight into STUART 'Baxter' WILKINSON (aged 21 - always that bit older than me! The boy who never wants to grow up...and...to his credit, is probably going the right way about it!)

For anyone that knows Stu, you will surely agree that he is dead easy to wind up. So, I will be doing my very best to prove this! Taboo words The easiest way to wind Stu up is 'underwear/toilet talk'. He is generally disturbed by certain words(such as pants) Why this is, no-one knows, but rumour has it that he was still wetting himself at a late age! Casualty In hindsight, one of the funniest things I remember about our early days as a band took place on the eve of our first record company showcase. We were really nervous and had been practicing all day. We had taken a short break mid-afternoon to play football in the hall next to our nursery (...where we rehearsed!) Stu, decided that he would do the most spectacular twist I have ever seen to this day and in doing so, managed to lock his leg at the knee. We were unable to straighten it out over the next two hours and he ended up playing for the record company in complete agony! (aaah!)Afterwards, I drove him down to casualty where we spent the majority of the evening singing the 'Casualty' theme tune. Later on we discovered that we'd been singing 'the bill' the whole time!

Middleman Stu is, undoubtedly, the least confrontational member of the band. He plays up being quiet, but that's a load of rubbish! He is very opinionated but has to be the middleman in order to bring balance to the force!! Will he also be the one to create a disturbance, when he turns to the dark side?...watch this space! Stu 'the Drummer'!! (He'll hate me for this!) This man does not like being thought of as a drummer. However, he is a very good one so people do make comments about his playing. He doesn't like meatheads with 30 piece kits, nor does he like naked drummers (as he puts them) who bare a full mouthful of teeth at all times. Although, I have noticed that the facial expressions are coming thick and fast nowadays! Stu likes to think of himself as Animal from the muppets, but I don't remember Animal singing like one of the Bee Gees.....oooooh!

"STU'S WORLD" (enter at your own risk) On entering 'Stu's world' you will find yourself bombarded with a whole host of weird habits, calculated cover-ups and even mild cases of schitzophrenia! Habits include: Rubbing his eyes when he's tired until he starts to look like a bloodshot, albino hamster and the ability to sleep through absolutely anything! Sometimes, Stu likes to make out that he is lacking in the common sense department, but once again...I know him to be cleverer than this and I'm sure that he does it to cover his back. It gives him an excuse if he makes a mistake or forgets to do something. But...to top it all off...He is actually TWO separate beings. On one side, he is the human being Stuart 'Baxter' Wilkinson and on the other (slightly more worrying!) he is..........Ahab the angel of Aramathia! Supposedly, sent by my late, great aunt Edna to tell me some very important news! I am still yet to find out what exactly, but it gives me something to look forward to! Stu claims that he knows nothing about this Ahab character and likes to turn it around so that I am the one who's going insane! ...and I live with this guy.... So....Stuart 'baxter' Wilkinson. A fantastic friend....a man that will take you time to understand (if it's at all possible!)...And no time at all to wind up!